The Last Melon...

All the drama happening at the moment and along with the drama comes self-preservation and strength. I realise I can be hypocritical but I am slowly learning to deal with this and to channel my feelings in a different way.

This renewed sense of self-preservation has made me realise that the next time I write on here will also be my last. I need to move on from this and grow. The stuff that has been written in this blog is not me any more, and simply by reading previous posts dredges up of memories with such a force that it is unreal. I need to move on from all of this, and moving on means leaving this blog. Maybe I will start up another blog but who knows. For now, this is the end for this one.

So, so long my friends, this has helped and I am glad I started. However, some things need to end. This is one of them.

Stay happy people!!

xxLMxx

The Sun Shines Again, And Yes, I Know It Is Currently Raining...

Things are finally looking up. The air smells good, the sky looks brighter, and things just seem, well, better! Funny that all the change took was a change in medication. The previous ones failed to do the job they were meant to do, yet they succeeded in completely changing my personality. They made my highs lower and my lows even lower. Out came an constant flow of emotions, thoughts and feelings about things I thought I had worked out and buried. YaY...

At this point I must reiterate again, that I write on here, not for sympathy and pity or whatever feeling you may have towards it. I enjoy the fact that here I can write the rambliest of rambles, and the internet can simply swallow it up.

I've also come to the point in my life where I have to seriously think about my future. I am in the final term of university. This is it. If I can't redeem myself with exams, then that's it. Done. Crap. So what do I do then? Yes, I am applying for a further degree, and I have a scary-ass interview on monday, but is this what I seriously want to spend the rest of my life doing? Will I even cope with the stress of the job following? I mean the issue of the chronic headaches does come into its own here, maybe I'm pinning too many of my hope on the drugs making them go away. Or maybe I am simply scared of entering the real competitive world, especially as my area is brutal and takes no prisoners. Maybe I am thinking too much about it? Most probably yes. Damn all this pycho-mumbo-jumbo-crap.

Bleugh...

Well at least I have a functional home to get back to when uni finishes.. Hahahahah sure.. But I guess that's a ramble for another day eh?

xxLMxx

p.s. on a happier note, I just bought myself an address book!