I Shall Now Open the Envelope to Reveal the Results....

I GOING TO UNI!!!!!!!!

aaahhhh! Im so excited!! If you couldn't guess :D I went early to get my results because I was so worried about them. Looking back, I shouldn't have been. Yes I didn't do as well as I had hoped and so I missed out on my place in Manchester, but instead I got accepted at Plymouth to study Biomedical Science. In the end I got an B in biology, a C in chemistry, physics and maths AS, and of course my B in Polish. Honestly, I'm not sure if I would have coped at Manchester. I got a catch-up compendium sent to me in the post and I was looking through it. ........ <- all that needs to be said. I mean half the stuff in the maths and stats section I hadn't covered before and so I would have been stuffed like a Christmas turkey... I guess thats why they called it a catch-up compendium *facepalm* After getting results though, I went straight home to check my e-mail and foud out I had been accepted. Applied for accommodation straight away and recieved an offer for university allocated the next day!! I mean, how did that happen!? They said they could only offer allocated to about 60% of undergrads... Wierd huh? It's a sign that I was meant to go there ^^ Mind you, going there and surviving the first few weeks/months are completely different things aren't they :)

But so far things are going well :) I got a surprise visit from L the thurs before results and he bought films and flowers. They flowers gained him a point in my book. I don't know, there is just something really exciting about recieving flowers. My chest actually swelled with pride thinking "yeah, uh huh, ma man got me flowers and you got none" , I couldn't stop smiling. The red blooms now dominate my window sill. He usually does things that make me smile, but I still worry a little about the near future. Do we continue with how things are (ie taking tentative footsteps and so leaving little room for heartbreaks later on) or do we emerse ourselves fully now (damning the concequences...) 

But I'm so ready for plymouth - I just sewed myself a laundry bag :)

xxLMxx

What's Life Without Complications eh?

"...women, men, and children fight, they were dying side by side and the blood they shed upon the streets was a sacrifice willingly paid..."

Now that is a song worth listening to. Uprising by Sabaton. For many, power metal isn't really their thing, but it's an awesome song which talks about the battle fought in Warsaw. GO LISTEN! It's awesome, though as a pole I may be a little biased ^^

But these complications? Well, where do I start. I swear I'm going round in circles. One moment I've fallen, next I'm up. One moment I can't get him off my mind, next all forgotten. Though since I canme back and went rock night again and saw him and had a heart to heart, I'm afraid it the former. If you have been reading my previous blogs then you may have clicked who I'm banging on about >< *sigh* 

It's strange how opinions change as soon as the situation also changes. Remeber when I found out what happened between that girl and him and when we split up? Well now there is the possibility of something happening again, I feel different about it all. Oh, and news flash. Apperently she lied to him. She wasn't pregnant at all.... Gah... And to top things he keeps saying that he still loves me and that hes never stopped thinking about me, even during the time he was with her. I'm not sure how I feel at the moment, though to be honest I don't think I ever stopped having deep feelings for him, though I'm really scared to admit it as I'm terrified of getting hurt again, even though I act like I don't care about getting hurt. He said himself that he is very very willing to spent the rest of his life making it up to me and giving me a helping hand. It's tempting to turn to him and say "You know how you could make it up to me? Take me to the theatre to see a play/musical/opera or dancing (but proper dancing)." Yet he has no money and he really dislikes that sort of thing, so the look on his face would be a picture. But manipulating him that much? It's probably bordering on cruel lol I don't know though, maybe he deserves to endure the suffering of ballroom/theatre. What do you think? Apparently I've already got him wrapped around all my fingers let alone he little one, but this? Hmmm.... All to top it off, all his friends are telling us we should get back as they have really grown to like me. I feel very flattered :)

Oh and another thing, mum and bro finally came back from their holiday in Poland today. They bought back gifts of vodka (both shop bought and homemade) and AT LEAST a kilo and a half of polish cheese - one of my weaknesses I'm afraid *blush* there is sooooo much food now >< Now I'm going to get even fatter... The gym awaits me...

Hope y'all are well

xxLMxx

"Letting go means you risk falling. I'm worried about falling, but what scares me most is that you might not catch me..."

So, this is the pic of my ink, for those who may be interested and I'm soo happy with it! But now I want more >< Tis very annoying as I have no money, but I need to find a job. The mind is willing but the body is weak....

Also, yesterday, got back from le brownie camp. Two weeks were spent looking after 37 girls and boys between 7 and 10 years. Exhausting work but so worth while. I loved every minute of it, and can't wait to go again next year!! The others that were also there said I took to it like a fish to water, and they have at least 5 years experience on them so I feel quite chuffed really! I may have found my calling ^^ I really enjoyed working with kids, they have their moments, but I loved it. Some even gave me presents as a thank you! I swear I nearly cried. Well after 2 weeks of living with them, you can't help but have some sort of attatchment. And the kids loved it. This year the theme was "A rainbow of tribes" ie Native Americans. We made head-dresses, medalions, teepee's, totem poles, tomahawks, went swimming, visited an American museum... So much went on, we were constantly on the go! And the weather was absolutely gorgeous. Sun shined throughout the 2 weeks bar the last few days, but can't really complain can I? But then I came down with a migrane on the last day and so felt like complete shite >< Ho hum, you can't have everything can you?

There was one girl that reaally touched me though, J. She is 10 years old and is a child carer. Her mun is nearly crippled with MS and her parents split up years ago. She lives with her mum, her dad left her years back and only now does he want to rebuild a relationship with her. He has remarried with 2 kids now and J can't cope with this re-introduction. J now acts like she was my age, late teen, and has seemed to have forgotten how to interact with children and how to make new friends. Her mum wanted her to come on this camp to have a well eared rest and to have fun with kids her age. She cried almost every night for the first week, and sometimes during the day too. It really cut me, yet there was nothing I could do to help apart from comfort her. I felt so helpless yet what could I have done? J went home on the visit day at the end of the first week. I hadn't seen her quite so happy. I really hope she remains well and looks after herself as well as her mum. Whenever she cried, the main reason was that she was worried about her mum, how that she couldn't cope without her... You hear about child carers and how it affects them but you don't really take it in untill the point at which you meet one. They are self-less and wonderful children yet they need these breaks however there is so little support out there. They need something for themselves...

xxLMxx