"Letting go means you risk falling. I'm worried about falling, but what scares me most is that you might not catch me..."

So, this is the pic of my ink, for those who may be interested and I'm soo happy with it! But now I want more >< Tis very annoying as I have no money, but I need to find a job. The mind is willing but the body is weak....

Also, yesterday, got back from le brownie camp. Two weeks were spent looking after 37 girls and boys between 7 and 10 years. Exhausting work but so worth while. I loved every minute of it, and can't wait to go again next year!! The others that were also there said I took to it like a fish to water, and they have at least 5 years experience on them so I feel quite chuffed really! I may have found my calling ^^ I really enjoyed working with kids, they have their moments, but I loved it. Some even gave me presents as a thank you! I swear I nearly cried. Well after 2 weeks of living with them, you can't help but have some sort of attatchment. And the kids loved it. This year the theme was "A rainbow of tribes" ie Native Americans. We made head-dresses, medalions, teepee's, totem poles, tomahawks, went swimming, visited an American museum... So much went on, we were constantly on the go! And the weather was absolutely gorgeous. Sun shined throughout the 2 weeks bar the last few days, but can't really complain can I? But then I came down with a migrane on the last day and so felt like complete shite >< Ho hum, you can't have everything can you?

There was one girl that reaally touched me though, J. She is 10 years old and is a child carer. Her mun is nearly crippled with MS and her parents split up years ago. She lives with her mum, her dad left her years back and only now does he want to rebuild a relationship with her. He has remarried with 2 kids now and J can't cope with this re-introduction. J now acts like she was my age, late teen, and has seemed to have forgotten how to interact with children and how to make new friends. Her mum wanted her to come on this camp to have a well eared rest and to have fun with kids her age. She cried almost every night for the first week, and sometimes during the day too. It really cut me, yet there was nothing I could do to help apart from comfort her. I felt so helpless yet what could I have done? J went home on the visit day at the end of the first week. I hadn't seen her quite so happy. I really hope she remains well and looks after herself as well as her mum. Whenever she cried, the main reason was that she was worried about her mum, how that she couldn't cope without her... You hear about child carers and how it affects them but you don't really take it in untill the point at which you meet one. They are self-less and wonderful children yet they need these breaks however there is so little support out there. They need something for themselves...

xxLMxx