Confessions II

"It's enough! I've done all I can think of. Chased down all my demons, I've seen you do the same"

1. I am highly stressed at the mo, what with deadlines n tests

2. Im really scared I will fail this year

3. Failing this year, means failing my family

4. I'm scared of that rejecion

5. I'm scared of being rejected by my boyfriend and friend

5a. I think I really love him.....

6. I don't think I care about whether L is still alive (stomach issues mentioned in previous posts)

7. I think I have a  slight eating disorder

8. I think an eating disorder may help me lose weight and get me thinner

9. I'm devestated that I didn't get onto the athletics comittee (as only girl that applied I'm sorry I let the side down)

10. I knew I wasn't going to get it as soon as I walked into the AGM meeting

11.I don't think I'm good enough

12. I wonder why people stick with me (unless it's to see the car crash)

13. I feeel like a spectator in everything I am involved in

14. I'm sick and tired of getting like this

15. I'm in a bit of a rut at the mo

16. I don't even know why I write on here anymore

This is my therapy

xxLMxx

Let the Good Times Roll!

"Last week was Valentine's Day. My boyfriend and I go to college far away from each other. He sent me a card. In the card he wrote "I love you more than these chocolates are delicious. I hope you enjoy them." so.....mr/mrs. mail carrier how delicious were MY chocolates? MLIA"

wow. It's been a while since I've been on here! I feel kinda bad for abandoning you for so long, but then I guess it means you can recover hahahahah. I would give excuses but you'd think them lame. They're mainly, I have been so busy doing work (I have a rediculous number of deadlines at the mo) or I havn't been spending may evening at my flat. Instead I've been spending many an eve with my gorgeous beau. Bless him ^^ Its lush though, since being with him, I feel so much happier, more carefree and secure. He makes me feel safe :) I realise that this will be completely new news!

Ahh tis so exciting ^^ I havn't felt like this in a while - it's so different to before. I like that, I really do :) I was worried at the beginning thinking, hoping, that this wouldn't be a fleeting thing. It doesn't feel like it at all. I love this feeling. I feel so safe around him, even falling asleep, it feels right and just, well, damn awesome. There I was thinking, this would never happen to me. Ever. I'm glad he has given me a chance. He also gave me a massive chance with the rents. That was a bit of a huge leap lol. Two meals and a weekend later, all was well, new alliances made, worries left behind. Laughter brings all together.

Good things happen after a great fall.

xxLMxx