Loving my life right now. No really; it's full of stress, or work, of fucking drama. I have gotten so tired recently of constantly being the person to screw things up. I guess that is what makes me unique, being the near permanent fuck-up.
Meet D and S. D an old ex, S is his best friend, The kicker? D and I are still fairly close, yet S and I have drifted closer together, having a "thing" going on. Yup. I am "seeing" my ex's best friend. Thing is, this would be fine if we weren't all (and others) thinking of living together for our last year. Fuck. So now, S and I have been given an ultimatum. Either we date and don't live in the same house, or we stop right away and possibly live in the same house, and we have to decide soon. Fabbity fabbity fab, but if they feel we have to make that decision then we have to make that decision. So, here's a bit of algebra;
a=house option including D and S and others
b=house option not including D and S but with others
a can only happen if S and I stop
b can only happen if S and I carry on
but, most want, b + a = slightly awkward situation if either stop or don't
Therefore, a+b = perfect only if I do not move in at all
Though I have yet to tell anyone of this plan yet. Though the thing is, I really want to continue this whatever-it-is with S but I'm scared of fucking up (again) royally. I know however that it will most probably slit up D and S, which would really upset me. I think I am going to apply to be a residents assistance in Halls for next year. Means I have a place to stay, to do my work, still be in uni, and not fuck anyone over/make things awkward within any house combination.
This whole thing is tearing me apart. Hope your life is better.
xxLMxx
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