Those Two Words....

"...Life is ours, we live it our way. All these words I don't just say, And nothing else matters. Yeah, trust I seek and I find in you, Every day for us something new, Open mind for a different view, And nothing else matters..."

Been at Uni since Sunday now, and I must say I was absolutly bricking it. Know why? The fear of the Unknown. Why is it that that terrifies everyone so much? If we don't know about it, then it can't harm us, it can't hurt us. Therefore all is good. But what if its not good? If not all is well at all? What if it goes horribly wrong? What if I end up alone? What if.... I could go on. But I'll spare you.But did you see the key phrase, the phase that is the bane of our lives? What If. Two of some of the smallest words (ok, thats a slight lie) but they carry so much. Yet unlike "I Love You" these two cannot be missread, missinterpreted, or missused. But they can be used too much. You need someone to tell you to stop using them, as you get so worked up. Do we listen? No. We can't help it, it's in our nature to assume the worst. It's a terrible design fault. Yet, when you assume the worst, don't you get a fabulous feeling when things go so much better? Assume the worst and you get a nice surprise (or nothing changes), or assume the best and become dissapointed (or nothing changes). What would you honestly prefer? I know which I would choose. But is there an option for assuming the worst without any of the proper panicky feelings? I guess not eh? Dayum...

I assumed the worst on Sunday...the day improved quite a bit. I feel so at home here, just comfortable with everything around me. And the people are fab. Making new friends was one thing aspect of starting something new I found the hardest. My confidence drops and I get shy. Some flat mates were in the kitchen. I somehow managed to get my face on nice and quick and sounded faily confident. Well I say confident. I actually made a right prat out of myself :P Now I have to pretend I know what I'm doing so as not to look out of place...  Though looking back, I'm not sure if it was a face... The big wide world is scary..... Again the Unknown creeps back to haunt us again....

But as usual, we learn to deal with it and we carry on like alll is well.... Problems are swept under, to be delt with when it gets too much. The story of my life..

xxLMxx